30 December 2010

New Years' Eve Eve


Things have been kind of whirling around in my head the past few weeks. As anyone still reading this may have guessed, I am not very good at updating my blog during (a) extremely busy times, and (b) extremely not-busy times. But I am great at thinking about what I would write if I were to update my blog. Today is different, I guess, and I'm not sure why.

I woke up with a start from a dream where I heard my old phone ringing with the ring tone I had assigned to my ex-boyfriend. I'm not sure why my phone was ringing in the dream, but for three seconds, I thought that it was actually ringing. Trying to open my mold-allergized eyes, I found the phone, and then remembered where I was. It's almost 2011, and although I am in my old Peace Corps site, and in my old Peace Corps site, I'm not in Peace Corps anymore.

I've worked one semester at this job, and I'm waiting waiting waiting for the next semester to start. Not because I'm that excited to work, but more because I'm that excited to go home. Something snapped in me with this bed bug battle. I know I'll be okay with not being in Morocco anymore. I know that there are bed bugs everywhere, but it was the way that many people treated me surrounding the whole debacle that just turned me off.

In a way, I am kind of ashamed to say this, because there is so much about Morocco that I absolutely adore. A few certain families, the Moroccans we work with in our organization, the variety of climates and cultures, the Tashelheet language, the Marrakech accent, the history, and the possibilities for the future. And I know that I could live here, but I think (think... llahu 3allam) that now I'll be okay with living somewhere else. Maybe I've given in, maybe I'm not as strong or as progressive as I wish I could be, but that's where I am right now.

Off for an 8 mile run...

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